Boundaries are the limits we set around our time, energy, and emotional availability. They’re not about being cold or selfish—they help you show up more fully and sustainably for yourself and others. Here’s how to set and hold them with care.
Know your limits
Notice where you feel drained, resentful, or overwhelmed. That’s often a sign a boundary is needed. It might be around late-night calls, extra work, certain topics, or how much you give in a relationship. Naming it is the first step.
State them clearly and calmly
You don’t need long explanations. Simple, direct phrases work: “I’m not able to take calls after 9 p.m.,” “I need to step back from this project,” or “I’d prefer we don’t discuss this at family dinners.” Say it without aggression or over-apologising. You’re sharing a need, not attacking.
Expect some pushback
People used to the old pattern may be surprised or upset. That doesn’t mean your boundary is wrong. Stay calm, repeat it if needed, and hold the line. Over time, those who care about you will adjust. Those who don’t respect it may show you something important about the relationship.
Start small
You don’t have to change everything at once. Pick one area—one relationship, one type of request—and practise there. As it gets easier, you can extend to other parts of your life.
Boundaries at work
In professional settings, clarity helps: “I’ll respond to emails during work hours,” “I need advance notice for weekend work,” or “I’m not available for that meeting.” If your workplace culture makes this hard, you can still choose what you commit to and how you communicate. In some cases, a conversation with a manager or HR may be needed.
Healthy boundaries reduce burnout and resentment and often improve relationships, because you’re engaging from choice rather than obligation. If guilt or fear makes it difficult to hold them, therapy can help you explore and shift those patterns.